


The Legacy Of The Ancients

by swinggate



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adventure, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Anal Shower (no scat), Bathtub Sex, Blow Jobs, Dildos, Drama, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn With Plot, Rimming, Romance, Slash, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:48:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26409745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swinggate/pseuds/swinggate
Summary: Daniel is descended, and Jack has suffered and thought a lot during this time. He discovers things about himself he didn´t ask for...
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20
Collections: Criticism of Religion in Stargate





	1. The second chance

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Das Erbe der Antiker](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20818790) by [swinggate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/swinggate/pseuds/swinggate). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel is descended, and Jack has suffered and thought a lot during this time. He discovers things about himself he didn´t ask for...

\- Jack's house -

Daniel was more than two hours overdue and Jack began to worry. A few weeks ago they found him on Vis Uban after he had been sent back by the other Ascended Ones.

It was the first time the archaeologist was traveling alone by car. He wanted to finish a translation at the SGC and then drive to Jack's house.

The colonel went ahead to shop for their days off. He regretted that now. The rain was about to slosh over the gutter in a wall of water. It was dark in Colorado Springs. Since his time as a disembodied being, Daniel occasionally had difficulties orientating himself. Jack held the phone in his hand and was about to dial the short code for Daniel's cell phone. He hesitated and put it down again. If the archaeologist had already set off, in this weather the ringing might distract him from driving.

Goddamn, Danny. You could ONCE be a little bit on time.

The Colonel pounded restlessly on the window frame.

\- Daniel's car -

Daniel pulled his vehicle to the curb not far from Jack's house. He didn't feel ready to face his friend after his diary-reading last night.

If Daniel felt the need to leave Cheyenne Mountain at the moment, he stayed in Jack's guest room. He was grateful for that because he didn't have to be alone in confronting his past.  
It would never have occurred to him to seek help. He was lonely since he was a little boy, he had practice at it. Daniel Jackson could handle anything. And he hated it when someone saw him cry.

But somehow it had turned out that Jack was always close to him when he was reading his diaries. Daniel on the couch, Jack in the kitchen. There was no kind of pie that Jack hadn't baked in the past few weeks and no variation of Chocolate Walnut Cookies he hadn't made. Daniel hadn't figured out yet how Jack and his macho colonel image brought it together to bake the best cookies in the world. In any case, Jack claimed Daniel was his guinea pig for new recipes. In his unique Jack way, he made it look like Daniel was doing something for him when testing the cookies.

And out of nowhere Jack always appeared when Daniel was emotionally exhausted.

He didn't say a word about hugging his crying friend. Daniel never noticed when his very own Covert Ops Colonel sneaked up on him. Suddenly an arm crawled around his shoulder and his head rested on Jack's chest. And it felt so natural that Daniel wasn't even ashamed.

Afterwards there was pie and cookies, coffee and whiskey. Jack always asked "Hey, do you want to talk?" And Daniel kept shaking his head in silence.

His journey into his own past, his reconstruction of his previous life, had brought Daniel to a very difficult point yesterday. There were many difficult points, but somehow he had processed them for himself - for the second time.

The point he had reached in his diaries now was different. Raw. The months before he ascended had been a desperate time. He didn't know what to do. There hadn't been a quiet minute to think about his problem.

His diaries told him that he had developed very strong feelings for Jack over the years. He only had to read a few sentences and everything was back. For a long time he didn´t realize that he loved him, had denied it to himself. While looking for his wife for years before she died, he would never have admitted it to himself. He had suffered all the more realizing that he loved Jack.

Maybe Jack didn't reciprocate his feelings. At least not in the way Daniel hoped. But Daniel had no right to hope. Because Jack was in the military. Daniel's love could cost him his career. And it was only because of his career that Jack had found the courage to carry on after Charlie's death, Daniel was convinced of that.

So Daniel carefully had hidden his feelings from Jack.

Daniel now wondered what it meant that Jack was so close to him. What it meant that the Colonel was always there for him, before his ascension. Why Jack didn't leave his side now, when his past sent him on an emotional roller coaster ride.

It was strange. Actually, Jack gave him everything he needed - everything but sex. He did that before he ascended, and he did it now. Daniel had never let anyone so close to him since his parents were dead. Jack was the first person in his adult life to hold him crying. Not just once. Again and again. And Jack had wiped away his tears and caressed him like a child. It could have been embarrassing or weird, but it wasn't.  
Jack made it a given in his inimitable way. No matter if he was addicted to the sarcophagus, no matter if he had just tried to throw himself off his balcony, no matter if he had a nightmare after hard missions.

Suddenly Daniel wasn't so sure anymore that it had been the right decision to keep silent. He began to see his descension as a second chance.

Jack deserved to know that he was loved. The Colonel was a lonely person apart from Daniel.

Even if he actually…. actually ...  
Oh. No. Daniel sobbed.

Jack loved Sam. Sam, that was it, that was another reason why he couldn't talk to Jack ... Jack loved her.

Maybe Jack saw him as some sort of surrogate son.  
Ouch. Daniel was shaking helplessly, he pulled his legs to his chin and hoped he didn't have to throw up. That would be his closest family relationship since his parents and wife were dead, he thought bitterly. 

But better to be loved as a surrogate son than not at all.

The archaeologist put his arms on the steering wheel and dropped his head on it. He was exactly where he had stopped before his ascension. Completely desperate. Sad. What should he do with his overflowing emotions for Jack? Would he feel better if he told Jack? Could they handle it? Did he have the right to jeopardize Jack's career, and not just that - the SGC's reputation?

Sometimes they argued to the extreme. But it couldn't separate them. Not even that Daniel had threatened him with a gun. That Jack had questioned their friendship because he had to do his job. That Jack nearly blew him up on the fate of alien races while Daniel questioned his command. All of that had only made their relationship stronger. Like an old married couple.  
That was bitter. Really bitter.

"I didn't come back to see Jack die like this now!"  
The moment he said it, some days ago, Daniel didn't understand the meaning of that sentence. He knew it now, since reading hours yesterday. Often feelings came first when he remembered. When they found out that Jack's clone was going to die, Daniel felt a panic he couldn't explain. Not with the friendly relationship he apparently had with Jack.

Daniel angrily wiped at his tears as the rain pelted the car roof. He didn't want to look like this, like a goddamn crying child, when he got home to Jack. Except he felt exactly like that.  
And still he had no idea what to do.

\- Jack's house -

Meanwhile, Jack waited impatiently next to the window, and his thougts lead him involuntarily to the events of yesterday. In the afternoon Daniel had read for hours in his diaries on the couch while Jack watched a taped hockey game. After that, the archaeologist had been very silent and upset. As they were preparing dinner together, he cut his finger.

"Ah-ah. Let me do that, Daniel, ”said Jack, pushing him towards the bathroom. "Put a plaster on it and chill for a minute."

Daniel wanted to contradict on principle and rolled his eyes in annoyance, but he left it with a "Jaaa-aaaack" and used the opportunity to find his inner balance again. At least, he tried. He set the table, continued reading, nervously waiting for Jack.

"Um, I found some notes in my diaries and I wanted to ask you ..." the archaeologist began hesitantly while eating, "have you ever ... so, could you imagine, I know that sounds strange ... could you imagine having a relationship with a man?”  
He poked at the food with his fork and sucked in his lower lip.

Jack held his breath. His mind raced. He frowned at Daniel, who was staring at him, and stuttered. Oh God.

"Uh ..., yeah, why not ... what ...?"  
Jack gestured exaggeratedly. He made a face when a cherry tomato slipped from his fork and rolled away.

Daniel furrowed his brows, puzzled, but said nothing.

And Jack fell deep in thoughts of the past year. After Daniel ascended, Jack missed him terribly. It was little consolation that he wasn't dead. Jack kept reminding himself and the others about it. Still - he was no longer part of SG-1. They no longer watched hockey games on Fridays, he could no longer burst into Daniel's office, play with his artifacts, argue with him, tease him or just secretly enjoy his presence on some boring planet, while Daniel examined some old stones.

One day Jack was rearranging Daniel's personal belongings that he kept in his apartment. A light-colored well-worn sweater fell into his hands. The one Daniel also wore as an Ascended when he visited him in Ba'al's prison. The sweater smelled of Daniel, of desert sand, earth and clay with a hint of metal, old paper, his aftershave, laundry detergent, coffee, his skin.

Jack wondered for a brief, surreal moment why he recognized Daniel's smell.

Air Force Col. Jack O'Neill, cynic, Simpsons fan and permanently pissed off macho from (and on) duty, usually kept himself under control.

A soldier doesn't cry, damn it. At least not in public. But here, in his guest room where Daniel had lived for weeks, he wasn´t in public. He wished there was something to force him keeping his composure. Those were his last thoughts before it hit him.

His face buried in the sweater, Jack slid to the floor on the wall of the guest room and did not move for a long time. His tears seeped invisibly into the fabric. He cried and cried until there were no more tears. Jack lost track of time as he leaned helplessly against the wallpaper, his face pressed into Daniel's sweater. Frozen inwardly and outwardly, he tried to escape the world. The man who had dragged himself through a desert with broken bones wanted to vanish into thin air. Things like that, he could handle. This, he couldn´t.  
But vanishing didn't work.

Instead, the realization hit him like a hammer that he loved Daniel.

Had loved.

No, fucking no, he loved! Daniel wasn't dead, damn it!

Jack didn't know when it happened. It had developed, crept into the core of himself, the only thing he knew - it must have started a long time ago.

From then on, Daniel's sweater rested on Jack's pillow. And Jack went through some sort of identity crisis. Was he gay now? But he had been married, so he was bi? It seemed obvious.

Before that, Colonel Jack O'Neill had never thought about his sexual orientation. Marrying a woman had just been taken for granted. He used to be a Catholic. That he might fall in love with a man hadn't crossed his mind. Such a thing didn't exist in a Catholic's mind, period. And if he did, he'd roast in hell for it. Or something like that.

Jack had never admitted to himself that there could be more to their friendship. He wasn't even supposed to think about it. Not even as an ex-Catholic. The Air Force also expected to keep this part of his personality strictly away from his professional life.

He laughed bitterly as he reflected the absurdity of his situation. One of his best friends was an alien with a snake in his stomach. He traveled weekly or more often through a wormhole created by alien technology. Visited planets inhabited by extraterrestrials who either had the power to optically camouflage entire cities or to erase them with large, honking space guns.

Did it matter that he loved a man? Probably not.

A few days later, the shock of knowing that he loved Daniel, had loved, no loved! - oh, damn it – really sunk in.

Jack started thinking. And his mind whirled. The only thing that made his life a little easier in this mess was the fact that the military had taught him how to make his brain whirl in a target-oriented way. Although it took him weeks to really get there.

What did he have, what did he need?

He had - a Daniel made of glowing tentacles.

He needed - a real Daniel to touch and hug.

That was a problem for which he had no solution for the time being. So back to the facts. Try another approach.

He loved a man.  
His best friend.  
Who now existed as a disembodied being. 

Jack knew from Carter that in theory the Ascended could transform back. Orlin had a good reason for it.

Daniel had no reason to do such a thing. What should it have been that kept him on earth? The knowledge of the ascended had to be paradise for him.

Jack still didn't give up hope entirely. His friend wasn't dead. He was just ascended. That became his daily mantra.

If he did come back and his personal belongings, his artifacts, his diaries were gone - it would be a shock to him. And what did he know about Oma Desala and her glowy fanclub? Maybe Daniel liked to spook a little between his things ... or something like that. Jack stored all of this permanently in his house as a constant reminder of the best friend he ever had.

Since his collapse in the guest room, his feelings had been pounding unbidden in his head for weeks. If SG-1 had already gone on missions again, he would not have been able to lead his team.  
After a while he managed to compartmentalize better so that he could do his work. Jack still spent every long weekend and long postponed vacation fishing in his Minnesota cabin, pondering. About Daniel and what he meant to him.

The archaeologist had gotten behind his walls from the start and Jack hadn't had a chance to defend himself against it. Not that he ever tried.

Colonel O'Neill had had a few comrades in his life whom he could rely on. One he considered a friend. Jack had named his son after him. But Kawalsky found out about that very late. Soon after, he died.

Then came Daniel, the three PhD genius. Doctorates, latently pissed off pain in the ass (like Jack himself, he noticed – less the doctorates, more the pissed off). Watched him and understood, was just there. Privately, not in professional matters. On duty, they argued like angry bulls. But being alone, they talked about things Jack had never talked about to anyone else. Daniel kept him alive after losing his family.

And there was something else. Silence felt completely natural for both of them while sitting or walking together – for hours. Jack had never experienced with anyone else, at least not to this extent, and it was really important to him. The only downside to this was Daniel hating to fish. 

If they shared a tent on missions lasting several days, he had helped Daniel through his nightmares. Daniel had done the same for him.  
Jack had often fallen asleep in Daniel's arms and Daniel in his. Daniel started it. After Jack almost broke his nose during a certain dream, Daniel had just pulled him close. In this situation, he seemed to have no other idea what he could do. They found it worked; instead of spending the night awake, they could both sleep peacefully. There was no opportunity for awkwardness, because the self-control, the masks, the walls - their nightmares took it all away and left them helpless and bare. Under cover of darkness, they confided their naked, unprotected selves to one another, without ever talking about it.

According to Jack's safety standards, neither he nor Daniel should have participated in combat missions. One of those nightmares in the wrong place at the wrong time could one day easily kill them. But there was no alternative to Daniel's expertise. And he, Jack, had promised to find Sha're. Apart from that, the meaning of his life after Charlie's death was to defend the earth from the Goa'ould. So he ignored his concerns and played the perfectly balanced Air Force Colonel in psychological evaluations.

Jack had no choice, he had to ruthlessly face his feelings for Daniel, at least towards himself. Otherwise he would end up with McKenzie sooner or later, and under no circumstances did he intend to reveal anything to him-who-was-guilty-to-have-imprisoned-Daniel-in-a-padded-cell.

A question that Jack couldn't answer for a long time: In which way did he love Daniel?

This was a complicated question. Jack needed Daniel, wanted his company, but he didn't fantasize about him. He had lost fantasies about sex long ago, somewhere between Iraq and Charlie's death. Too great a risk that some sneaky scraps of memory found their way into the story and tore him into an uninvited flashback.

It was several weeks before Jack could admit it to himself: he wanted to kiss Daniel. He wanted to sleep tangled with him in the evening and wake up even more tangled with him in the morning. Feel Daniel's skin on his. The rest was censored. He didn't think about that. That was still too ... strange.  
And besides ... no, don't think about it.

But touching was good. Jack longed for touch, for Daniel's skin, for his hands. He had been infinitely lonely for a long time.

Jack communicated through touch. With touch he replaced entire conversations.

Daniel had a "don't-touch-me" aura.  
Jack was the only one he allowed to invade his personal space without real inner defense.

Their friendship had always been twofold. There was one side, the professional one. They needed each other as arguing opponents in order to achieve a good result in the end. On the private side, there were no mutual injuries, on this level they instinctively recognized when the other needed support. Jack had broken this rule only once. When he felt he had to keep Daniel out of the fucking Asgard-Tollan-NID problem, and he had bitterly regretted it. At that moment he couldn't think of anything better than to question their friendship. He was sorry the second he said it. But Jack had thought he had to keep Daniel out of the matter at all costs. No, he hadn't believed it himself, of course he had his orders. Still, he tore himself to death that something else should have crossed his mind. An excuse without hurting Daniel. Any way to get a message across to him. Oh boy. It had taken weeks and months to regain Daniel's trust.

Jack's mind spun in circles. He tossed and turned his friendship with Daniel.

And then there were two tiny problems with their friendship.

Daniel had ascended. Shouldn't he be mourning the absent friend instead of pondering what kind of relationship he was with Daniel - which he probably would never have again?

That being said, did Daniel reciprocate his feelings?  
And what exactly were his feelings – without the whole sex-thing?  
Had Daniel ever shown that he saw more in Jack than his best friend?

Daniel watched over him so lovingly while he was in the infirmary after Baal had sent him through hell. Did that mean the kind of Titanic - Bodyguard - Gone with the Wind- romantic love? Was that O'Neill wishful thinking - or were the Ascended always like that?

Questions. So many.  
It drove him wild.

Daniel had saved his life on Abydos on their first mission and caught a fatal shot. Did that count as love or would he have done that for everyone?

Anyway, Daniel had always been there for him when he needed comfort and didn't even notice it himself.

The young archaeologist was the only person he could share his grief and pain with. And Daniel shared his pain with him. He, too, had never had a more intense friendship in his life. It started on Abydos. It continued when Daniel stayed with him on his return from there. They had both lost their wives and did not even have to talk about most things, they communicated wordlessly with looks, gestures, and touch.

Jack had never really been able to open up to Sara. He was her husband, he was the special ops macho asshole colonel who handled everything by himself.  
He prided himself to be strong for her. The great protector.

Daniel turned Jack's world upside down. They comforted each other. Not that Jack admitted he needed comfort. But Daniel didn't ask him about that. He comforted him anyway.

Daniel had learned to hide his feelings over many years in foster care. But towards Jack he was very open about his grief over Sha're's kidnapping. Often Jack held his crying friend in his arms, and in a strange way it was as if Daniel was crying for him too. Daniel brought Jack's own grief over his broken marriage to the surface.

The young archaeologist said nothing about the fact that it was often he who stroked the tough Air Force colonel's back in the end. Jack didn't cry. But he often radiated a heartbreaking dejection. They needed each other in the first weeks and months after Daniel returned from Abydos.

After Daniel ascended, Jack resumed the task of sorting through, packing and storing his personal belongings. He'd been indignant as Carter dared to read Daniel's diaries when they thought years ago he'd been burned to ashes on Nem's planet. That couldn't be repeated.

Jack was glad he did. Later, while rearranging, he found an item in Daniel's possessions that confused him very much. And he was sure that Daniel would not have wanted anyone to see this object. It was a pretty lifelike dildo in a dark wooden box. This was a side of Daniel that Jack hadn't seen before, and to be honest, would never have thougt about before his breakdown in the guestroom.

Jack started to research. He'd grown up Catholic, got married early, and was pretty naive about sex in some ways.

Why in the world did a man have a dildo? Was that why he was gay? Were there any other reasons? As far as he knew, the archaeologist had only had relationships with women, if at all. He didn't take the time to have a love life, apart from mourning Sha're for a long time. Jack learned a lot astonishing, sometimes disturbing things from his research. Things that did nothing to calm his churning mind either. It confronted him with a reality he had tried to avoid for a long time, and it confonted him with himself.

Anyone who didn't really know Colonel Jack O'Neill quickly got a first impression. Many former colleagues thought he was a cold-blooded, cynical asshole. In the SGC he was mostly seen as the derisive, sarcastic, sardonic clown, ice hockey fan and scientist-hater who gave General Hammond hell.

This impression deceived almost everyone. Except Daniel. Jack didn't like to talk about his feelings. He encapsulated them. Couldn't show them anymore. Which didn't mean they weren't there. On the contrary, they were very intense. Emotions had been a threat to Jack throughout his life, especially since the beginning of his Air Force career. He learned to keep himself more and more under control.

But the many small and large traumatic experiences of a warrior and the really bad traumatic personal experiences in Jack's life sought their way out. When Jack tried to end life after Charlie's death, the archaeologist emphatically and repeatedly prevented him from dying.

Daniel had been his anchor since he came into Jack's life. This hadn´t stopped with Daniel being ascended. Apparently, Daniel found a way to contact Jack without interfering with Ancient rules. It seemed the archeologist had sneaked in Jacks dreams.

Jack dreamed of Daniel unusually often and very vividly since he had realized with the sweater pressed to his face that he loved him. Dream Daniel usually showed up before his nightmares turned in unbearable directions. Dream Daniel was like some bloody shrink who helped him see what was happening from a distance. The first damn shrink that could get through to Jack. Who helped him to evaluate the significance of the experiences for himself.  
Don't dive too deep. Not to be carried away by the flood of terrible thoughts. He helped him to process what happend. Daniel kept his promise - everything would be fine with Baal. This particularly despicable snake, surprisingly, did not become a prominent figure in his nightmares. 

In real life, this was when Jack started playing the piano. He taught himself, on Daniel's grand piano, which he had squeezed into the guest room. He preferred to play Chopin from Daniel's sheet music collection. Jack noticed that he could communicate with Daniel through music. Even the ascended did not seem to be able to resist the sounds. Jack often smiled when a breeze brushed his cheeks and back with the windows closed. No, he was beaming all over his face. This glow was only for Daniel.

Jack knew that he was able to learn quickly and easily - if he wanted to. However, he carefully concealed this ability from others since he was an adult. Nobody at the academy knew about it except his teachers, often not even them. The annoyed faces of scientists were worth the effort, distorting complicated words beyond recognition or finding flippant abbreviations. It was one of Jack's favorite pranks, and he was now playing it completely automatically. That he often intentionally forgot the real terms made his cover all the more believable.

On missions, it had always been an advantage if the opponent underestimated him. There were reasons why he hid important areas of his private life from even his closest friends, including Carter and Teal'c. Apart from Daniel, nobody knew his real motivation for keeping an extensive collection of literary classics in his hut in Minnesota. He read the stuff. Secretly.

Was it Daniel's idea that Jack turned to music? Jack didn't remember.  
In any case, there was little that Daniel could not help him. Those were the memories Jack hid from himself.

At some point during Daniels ascension, Jack's dreams changed. Charlie's death, Baal, and the other demons that had overshadowed his life for so long vanished. He dreamed of light-flooded weekends in his cabin, with Daniel at his side. They fished, hiked, played chess, cooked and ate together. Mostly in a quiet companionship only requiring few words. They communicated intuitively. It was so easy with Daniel. He was just there, looking at him, understanding. 

In a dream, it was evening. They sat on the pier, their bare feet in the water, a campfire next to them by the lake, the sun was setting. It was just sappy.

Jack took Daniel's hand in his, put his free hand around his neck, gazed at him.

Whispered "I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I know I'm a man and that doesn't fit. But that's not so important either. I can live without the whole thing. So without sex if you don't want that. I miss you so much."

Daniel looked at him with big blue eyes and in return put his hand on the side of Jack's face.

"Damn it, Daniel ... I love you. Come back from Glowyland, please, Daniel. Come back. I ... I need you. "

The linguist didn´t answer. At least not with words.

He kissed Jack like no one had kissed him before. Gentle, passionate, infinitely loving. Jack had never felt so loved in his entire life.

When he woke up, his pillow was wet with tears. He wasn't ashamed.

The dreams with Daniel were intense and waking up, he could remember every detail. Jack since wondered if Dream Daniel was a product of his brain, or if the real ascended Daniel crept into his dreams.  
Dream Daniel came back. In some dreams they did nothing but kiss. To hold each other. Dream Daniel didn't ask for anything. He only did things Jack were really comfortable with. Kissing. Holding. Stroking.

And then something happened that pulled the rug out from under his feet.

After Anubis destroyed Abydos, Dream Daniel disappeared.

Jack feared for his sanity. He had become addicted to having Daniel in his dreams. It was the only thing that kept him afloat since Daniel left. For a while he regularly dreamed of being alone in his cabin. There was a knock on the door and when he opened no one stood on the threshold.  
Slowly the nightmares came back. A darkness took over his life that he had experienced before. Which only Daniel could scare away.

Then Daniel was sent back by the Ascended. Two weeks earlier, Jack had been about to end his life. There was only one thing stopping him from finally doing that. Daniel would have held out, he told himself. Daniel would have tried to find out what had happened. And so Jack didn't give up hope.

Their first meeting came as a shock to Jack when his friend didn't recognize him.

But it was only a few days before Daniel remembered the most important things. Of their friendship. Of details.  
Jack had kept his diaries and many personal items for him. All of this helped Daniel remember a lot more.

It didn´t take long. After the thing with Anubi's ship, he thought he knew almost everything again. First he read the mission reports, then his diaries filled in the details. 

The whole mess with his lost memory was tough for Daniel. Jack sat next to him on the couch for several evenings when his friend read and read. Daniel always tried to hide it, but sometimes tears ran down his face. Jack usually sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder. He didn't struggle when Jack hugged him without a word. They never talked about it. Like always.

Daniel would have had the choice to go to the guest room to read. But he didn't. 

Most of the time Daniel remembered much, much more than he had read.  
For Jack it meant he could consider confessing his feelings.

Piece of cake.  
Jack had made the easiest important decision of his life after Daniel returned. After all this churning and brooding and the knots in his brain, it became perfectly clear. He wanted to be with him if it was up to him. Day and night. A relationship. Sex was optional. If Daniel wanted to. Himself - he didn't need to have that. Kissing would be nice. Just like in Jack's non-dreams with Dream Daniel. In fact, sex and kissing were the only intimacies they hadn't shared in reality. What was generally associated with a "real" relationship.

Uuuuh huh.

And just now Daniel had asked him if he could imagine a relationship with a man.

Jack had to find out what he meant.

Whether he wanted what Jack hoped it was what he wanted.

Now that Daniel had a chance at a normal human life. To have a woman. Maybe kids. Whether Daniel could handle the baggage he brought with him when it came to the really physical side of a relationship. In fact, it didn't matter to Jack whether Daniel wanted to continue sleeping with women or even have children. The most important thing for him was that Daniel was alive and close to him. Every day if possible. Was there a woman for Daniel who accepted a particularly good “best friend”? Sha're would have done that, Jack knew from Daniel's reports. On Abydos it was customary to be married to a woman and to have relationships with men at the same time. 

Daniel wouldn't shy away from him when he revealed his feelings to him. Jack was sure of that. It wasn't his nature. And he was an anthropologist, damn it. This had to be good for something. They could talk and argue about anything. Hell, they'd tried to kill each other. Admittedly under extreme circumstances.

And they were still friends.

"Jack, would you please hand me the salad bowl?  
Earth to jack? The salad bowl.  
JAaaaaCK ?? "

"Uh... What!?"

< o >

Jack shook off his brooding over the previous evening and noticed that he had pinched the silicone joint off the window frame. He snapped it away angrily.

Finally he heard a car in the driveway, then a key in the lock and Daniel stood next to him in the entrance, with wet hair. The archaeologist looked kind of tired. Jack was relieved that he was back. He couldn't suppress the need to hug him. Jack wrapped his arms around Daniel's body, gently but firmly, and unwilling to let go. His head rested on Daniel's shoulder, he had his eyes closed and inhaled the scent of his friend.

It was a déja vu from before, from many other hugs. He wondered briefly whether he had revealed to others how he felt for Daniel without knowing it himself.

"I missed you so much," he muttered indistinctly in Daniel's jacket.

“Hey, I'm only two hours late. Sam needed help with something, “said Daniel, pushing Jack away from him by the shoulders and looking at him astonished and a little confused. Jack hugged him frequently. However, he'd never done that before when he'd just come home like that on a normal day. And this time it was somehow different. Jack's hands, they were so soft on his back. It ... it felt ... intimate. Loving. Like ...  
A vague memory popped up in Daniel's head. But he couldn't grab it. Was it possible that Jack had feelings for him, despite Sam, despite everything, even though he was actually ...?

"I mean ... I've missed you last year," said Jack. He hid his face again in the crook of Daniel's neck.

Daniel was back.

In his arms.

Thanks, Oma Desala, old bitch. You're a bitch, but ... thanks. Thanks for Daniel. 

It always took a while before Daniel could really engage in hugs. He didn't like being touched. If anything, only Jack could do that. Each time his hands hovered uncertainly over Jack's shoulders before he wriggled himself up and wrapped his arms tightly around his friend. Daniel felt a lot of tension in Jack, and ran his thumb reassuringly over his shoulder blade.

Jack was glad Daniel was wet from the rain. So the tear, which he couldn't hold back, mingled with the drops on Daniel's neck, unseen.

They stood there for a while, arms wrapped around each other.

When Jack took Daniel's face in his hands and kissed him, the movement came from deep within his heart. It wasn't a conscious choice. Jack did what he'd done over and over in his dreams until a few months ago. Dream Jack had taken control and kissed the real Daniel.

Daniel was too surprised to react, do anything, or think. The memory image came closer when Jack's lips met his. But in a strange way the memory remained unattainable. Had he done this before?  
It didn't matter for the moment. Jack kissed him like his life depended on it. Daniel let himself fall into Jack's tenderly plucking mouth, allowing in the questioning tongue brushing his lips. He returned the kiss passionately.

At some point he broke breathlessly from Jack and almost stumbled backwards into the window next to the door. Jack reflexively grabbed his arm and prevented the fall. 

"Wow." Daniel stared first at the floor, then into Jack's eyes, his hand clutching Jack's arm.

"Jack, are you crazy ?! This ... this ... We. Are. Not. Allowed. To do. That."

He pinched the bridge of his nose in confusion.

“Have we done that before? They will drag you to Leavenworth for this and then ..."

"Stop, Daniel." Jack shook his head and pushed Daniel onto the couch with long strides towards the living room. They sat down, right next to each other. Jack took Daniel's right hand in his, clutching it with both hands like a lifeline. He stared at their joined hands and couldn't utter a word.

"Daniel," he croaked helplessly at some point. He felt overwhelmed with such things.  
Oh damn!

"Jack?" The archaeologist put his free hand to Jack's chin, gently lifting it with his index finger.

"I didn't know ... I had no idea ...?"

"Neither did I, Danny, believe me."

Suddenly Jack flipped up from the couch, disappeared into the kitchen with a few hectic steps and reappeared with a whiskey bottle and glasses.

"So." Jack leaned his head over the coffee table and rubbed the back of his neck as he poured whiskey generously into the glasses. “You asked me a question yesterday during dinner. About the relationship-thing, ... So I guess ... was it okay that I kissed you?"  
He felt Daniel's eyes rest on him and hesitantly looked up.

"Yeah, I think so." Daniel chewed his lower lip and clutched the whiskey glass with both hands. “Jack, what is happening here? Did we have a relationship before I was ascended?" 

"No." Jack cleared his throat and took a long swig from his glass. He starred at the almost exposed bottom as if it were a television showing the last episode of The Simpsons.  
"Why do you think that?"

"It's ... when you kissed me just now, I had the feeling ... a memory was within my grasp, but I couldn't reach it. Very strange. Unlike the other memories I have regained so far. "

"Uuuhuh." Jack grimaced. “Do this Kel'no'reem thing with Teal'c when he's fit again. I think we ... well, you kissed me in a dream when you were ascended, truth to be told in many dreams. I'm not sure, but ... Anyway, at first I thought it was dreams."

“Wow, that's ... I don't remember. It is confusing. We ... we didn't have a relationship before. From what I've read in my diaries. "

Daniel lowered his head and added, quietly and embarrassed, "Unfortunately."

Jack puffed his cheeks. He let the air escape, nervously tapped his forefinger on his glass. Followed the reflections of light on the amber liquid. "I ... I was ... desperate. I asked you to come back in my dream, Daniel. And I ... I told you ... "

Jack forced himself to look at Daniel.  
"... that I love you."

"Jack." Insecure, questioning and confused, Daniel looked into Jack's warm brown eyes. At that moment he couldn't quite keep up with reality, and that meant something with his normal pace of thinking. 

"Daniel. I love you. ”Jack's voice was a hoarse croak and he involuntarily held his breath. He finally put down his whiskey glass and took Daniel's right hand, his lips brushing his smooth forearm, before slowly and tenderly kissing Daniel's pulse. Jack held Daniel's gaze, the seconds stretching into minutes while he waited for some reaction, some answer. An ice-cold fist wrapped around his stomach. This was the turning point in his life. And Daniel was in control of what happened. Daniel was in control of his life.

Then he felt Daniel's hand crawl around his neck and soft lips melt into his.  
The talented linguist was able to express himself clearly without words. Again and now in real life.  
Jack's tension dissolved into a happy intoxication.

Everything frayed into small electrical charges that found their way into their bodies via their lips and fingertips. The world dissolved into feeling, taste and smell. Whiskey, salty sweat, shampoo, coffee, skin, and aftershave.

They didn´t know how long they had kissed. At some point they held each other in a daze, leaning against the back of the sofa.

Daniel broke away from Jack after a while, again.

"Jack, I ... I don't know what to say. There's 'don't ask, don't tell' and we're on a team and I thought you loved Sam and .... I'm a little overwhelmed, I guess. "

“Forget the Air Force. It took me a lot of time "- he waved his hand between the two of them -" to find out. Damn it, you had to move to Glowyland before I got it."

Jack took a deep breath. “Nobody has the right to ask what we are doing together, and we will not tell anyone. However, I'm your superior, and that's why the Air Force forbids that, in theory ... "

“Superior - only in military matters, Colonel. As a civil advisor, I'm outside the chain of command.” Daniel snorted, amused.

"Ohhh yeah. You rub this under my nose daily at every opportunity, Dr. Jackson."

Daniel got serious again.  
“You could get into serious trouble as a result, Jack. I tortured myself over this for a long time before I ascended. What if the NID tries to get one over us - and so on? "

The whole thing was difficult. Jack had puzzled over it for weeks and months during Daniels ascension, when he clung to the straw that he could – maybe - return. The rule breaking thing was not against his nature, in terms of this. Jack broke rules when necessary. However, he did it for others and not for himself. He did it when he believed that it was the humanly right decision.

But Jack also knew: He couldn't go on without Daniel. That meant, if he retired again, someone else would have to take over his job, maybe a young person with a family, someone who didn't know the enemy out there as well as he did, someone with less combat experience. And it was just a damn dangerous job. A job someone had to do with such a shitload of guild like himself. Someone who had let his own son die. Someone who deserved to die, if push came to shove.

So he hoped he'd be able to keep his hands off Daniel in public to obey DADT. Eyes shut and go for it. The situation left no way out, no matter what he did, it was wrong in some way. Jack had seen many times that lack of military experience cost lives. As a young man he had made enough mistakes himself.

Enduring these contradictions was something he had vast experience for his entire professional life. However, in this case the contradictions were different to Daniels belief. Because he had an assignment for himself the archaeologist knew nothing about. Jack didn't talk about it. He wasn't allowed to talk about it, as his superiors believed it would damage team dynamics.

Jack had explicit orders to bring Dr. Daniel Jackson back at all costs. Before Carter. Before Teal'c. His superiors thought it would be poor testimony to the Air Force if the civil scientist who opened the gate could not be protected from the dangers out there. Not just because he was a civilian and had absolutely irreplaceable skills. Both of these were reason enough. The President saw him as a personification of the project. It was inevitable that one day the Stargate would become public. And when the time came, Daniel would play a major role in that he didn't yet know about.

Jack had still protected his team equally so far. And he wasn't going to stop. Even if it would damage his record more than it already had.

The Colonel looked at Daniel under a raised eyebrow and snorted.

"Without you I wouldn't do this shit anymore. When you weren't in my dreams any more, I almost went nuts after a couple of weeks, Danny.” Jack clenched his palms and continued speaking very quietly.

“I no longer function without you. If we hadn't found you, I would have retired.” And drunk my brain away in the cabin day after day until I would have drowned in the lake. But Jack didn't say that out loud. He wiped his face with both hands. And he refused to think twice about how his clone was feeling now without Daniel. Adolescent hormones and now a lack of Catholicism seemed to be helpful in any case, to dare a new beginning with life and with women. At least, he himself liked to think this to be true.

"Hmm-mmm." Daniel looked at him briefly and then looked closely at the edge of Jack's coffee table. He didn't know what to say about it. He was not used to such open expressions of affection. Not since his parents died, and not from Jack either.

Jack shifted uncomfortably for a moment before continuing.  
“If they really wanted to compromise us, whatever enemy, then they could have secretly taken photos years ago. That is, they haven't come up with the idea yet. Not regarding a personal relationship between us two. Do you know how often we slept tied together when one of us had nightmares?"

He laughed humorlessly.

“It just never crossed my mind that it could be compromising. That you were and are much, much more to me than a friend. And that men with other men ... you know ... I never really considered that. I had no idea that it might affect me."

Jack grunted dismissively.

“I was really good at blocking things out that I didn't want to see. Or ... which I was too stupid to see. I would retire again, Daniel. If the NID causes trouble, I do. We'll have to be careful. Last week I removed two bugs and cameras again. Time for Carter to finish with her improved detector. "

Absently, Jack grabbed Daniel's hand.  
"Besides, you now have an official good reason to really visit me regularly."

A short smile played around the corner of Jack's mouth when Daniel looked at him confused under raised eyebrows.

“If you want to play your grand piano, you have to come here. It was really very difficult to squeeze into the guest room. The transport company and the piano tuner cost me a fortune. And the craftsman who put the door frame back in place."

Jack's smug grin faded. The Colonel became very interested in his fingernails when he added very quietly  
"And now I'm playing too."

"Wow." Daniel beamed at him. This man never failed to surprise him. Jack beamed back, hesitantly at first, then happy and open.

“But right now ... we both know what's going on out there. What threatens us. We are not safe on earth. We are not safe anywhere. We have to keep fighting. So, damn it – I will do it to save the earth. Only "- Jack waved his index finger up in the air -" that's why. But not at any price. "

"Then we'll keep fighting together, Jack." 

"Hopefully, Daniel." Jack pointed to his knees. "I have no idea how long they will continue to participate."  
He leaned back on the sofa and looked at him.

"So if you want me at all, broken and old and scarred as I am ..."

Daniel took Jack's hand.  
"I ... I admit I'm a little confused and overwhelmed at the moment, but ... yes, I want you. With every scar on your body and in your soul, Jack. "

He pressed Jacks hands to his face and tried with all his might to bite back the tears that swam in his eyes. It was all too much right now. Emotions he couldn't handle. Unfulfilled desire, despair, unattainable love.  
And suddenly everything seemed to have dissolved and the archaeologist couldn't believe it. Too good to be true. Where was the trap? Was it all real or was he just dreaming?

There were so many problems. How they would manage their everyday life, what happened to the team. He dropped their hands on his lap and looked at Jack very seriously.

“But you have to answer a question for me, Jack. And I want an honest answer.” Daniel frowned. “What about Sam? I always thought you loved her. And she believes that too. "

"Oh god, Carter ..." Jack rubbed his face with his palms. How he hated talking about such things. Uhhh. Nnnngh.

“I am very fond of her, but I am very fond of you all. I would risk everything for Teal'c too. You are my family.”  
He hesitated for a moment.  
“Carter and I might have turned out to be something. Sure she is very attractive. But she didn't want to. She always said no when I wanted to spend time with her. There where moments I was tempted to do something stupid. But it's too late now. Sometimes ... sometimes I think she's playing a game with me. But that doesn't matter now."

He snorted again and took the last sip of his whiskey while jerking his forefinger on his thigh.  
“You know why Sara broke up with me. The same thing would have happened to Carter and me at some point. You're the only person who can get along with me. Not to mention the fact that she drives me crazy with her physicist technobabble. And as far as we know, when the O'Neills and Carters are together, it is not a good sign for Earth. Increases the chance that the whole damn planet gets blown up."

Daniel giggled against his will, but he didn't let himself be distracted.  
"The only one who can get along with you, Jack?"

"Hmmm, yeah ... we ... we can talk, right?"

"Talk? Uh, wait a minute. No Jack. I allow you to keep silent. Mostly."  
Apart from this, he muttered under his breath.

"Yes, exactly!" Jack's eyebrows crept under his hairline.  
“And Sara always wanted me to talk. Hey, you ... we... just understand each other."

"Hhhhm. Mostly.”  
Daniel grinned. “And yes, I'm hungry too."  
They agreed on pizza. They ate amicably side by side on the sofa while the rest of a hockey game was on TV.

The mood could have been strange, thought Jack.  
They had been best friends for years.  
They had just confessed that their feelings went way beyond that.

But nothing was strange. They felt comfortable together. If Jack needed any more proof that he was doing the right thing, that would have been it. Daniel was the other half of his soul. This was right for both of them.

Daniel was pretty overwhelmed by the situation. For him a great wish had just come true, completely without his intervention. If he really thought about it, today was the best day of his life in a long, long time (naaah, it WAS the best day of his life). And that was the problem. Daniel Jackson had a dream come true? Then it usually burst before his eyes shortly afterwards, painfully and with extended torture.

As they watched the hockey game, he had the opportunity to soak up the revelations of the evening.

"Jack?"

The Colonel stopped in motion and turned to him.

"Jack, about Sam ... I understand that you are drawn to her." Daniel cleared his throat and looked at his pizza slice, embarrassed.

"When she was in my tent on Vis Uban, I thought that we might be earlier ... I also find her very attractive and ... uh." That was the wrong thing to say, Jackson. Even to think. The moment he said it, he regretted it. Oh God. Daniel rubbed his face with his hands and glanced at Jack between his fingers. 

Jack's eyes darkened a bit. He felt a small, nasty sting of jealousy, and he had no right to feel this way. But then he looked into Daniel's frightened eyes and squeezed his hand. He suddenly understood why Daniel had confided this to him. It was important to him that this matter wasn´t between them. That Jack knew that he didn't need to be ashamed of his feelings because Daniel shared them. A little.

What an irony. They had just said goodbye to their heterosexuality only to find that they were drawn to the same woman, or had felt, no, would feel somehow, if - brrrrrr. Daniel's head spun.

Phew. Jack took a deep breath. “We can't tell her about us at the moment, Daniel. It would hurt her personally, I think. For a long time I believed that I might have a relationship with her at some point. And it would be a burden for them to know about both of us, in case the NID wants to get to us. And ... I don't know how. "

"Neither do I.” Daniel clutched Jack's hand. “We will take care of her together. And of T. We have to think of something to cheer him up. It was really a shock for him to lose his symbiote. "

"Mmmmh ..." Jack licked some sauce off his finger.

"To start with, an extra portion of his favorite jelly as soon as Fraiser allows food, and then we'll see ..."

* o *

When Jack entered into the bedroom later, Daniel was lying on the bed in boxers, reading. He let his gaze wander over the archaeologist's muscular body. In the last few years and with the extra medical training of the last few weeks, the scientist had transformed himself from a slim, bony man into athletic and well-built. 

Huh. Daniel looked ... hot. And he was ... beautiful. Jack swallowed. All of his brain-knotting hadn´t led him in this territory much. He felt a bit insecure, all of a sudden.

"Hey, Daniel. Am an old man. Let's go to sleep, ok? "

Daniel winced at the question. As always, he was completely absorbed in his reading material.

"You're not old," he muttered absently as he laboriously closed the book.

"Gray hair, broken knees, shot body - I am."

"You are not."

"I am."

"Not. You are sexy."

He put the book on the bedside table and, somewhat embarrassed, lifted the covers.

Jack snuggled to the side of his friend, wrapping his body around Daniel, who in turn wrapped his arms around Jack's.

"Sleep well, Dannyboy."

Daniel didn't really want to sleep, but if Jack didn't feel like further ... exploring for the time being, he could live with that. He buried his face in the crook of Jack's neck.

"Hmmmmph. Sleep well, Jack. " 

Jack kissed Daniel on the forehead. They lay there for a long time, Daniel on his side and Jack on his back. Breathing in the same rhythm. Breathing each other's scent.

Daniel was sure he could´t sleep now. He didn´t want to disturb Jack, but leaving him alone wasn´t an option either. So he slowly explored Jack's arm with his fingertips, the individual muscles, the scars, their hands clasped when he wandered down. The flat evening light from the window drew every elevation, indentation and small hairs with double clarity.

Daniel turned around in Jack's arms after a while. His lips brushed Jack's throat, his chin found his mouth.

He started drawing small circles on Jack's upper arms with his fingertips. His hands continued to wander to Jack's chest as his kiss turned passionate. He had never touched another man's body so intimately. It was strange. Jack was familiar and calming as ever, but to feel his body this way, to be able and allowed to feel, was unaccustomed and exciting. And all this tenderness he had for him, it flew from his mind through his hands into Jack, who sucked his ministrations up like a sponge, and it was a relief.

Jack responded to his caresses with gentle, almost shyly feeling hands, fingers, and lips.

They explored each other's familiar and yet strange body.  
Muscles and tendons and bones. Jack was surprised how much he liked Daniel's hard male body. How good it felt. That he had the same urge to feel it, to taste it, like Saras.

At some point Daniel took the initiative and pressed his hips against Jack.

It was an electrifying, incredibly erotic feeling when their erections met. They ground and pounded each other awkwardly, impatiently trying to create friction. Sex happend a long time ago for both of them. They finally crossed their fingers over their erections and pumped, it felt intimate, so incredibly intimate, their own fingers and those of the other, intertwined, on their steely hard cocks.

Jack felt as if he was watching himself from afar. To his own surprise, he was the first to explode between them.

"Oh god Daniel ..." His friend and lover lay on top of him, breathing heavily, his face on his chest. The young archaeologist wrapped his arms around the older soldier, his weight pressing him down, but that didn't bother him.

"I love you, Jack O'Neill," he whispered, plaiting his fingers in Jack's short gray hair, kissing his temple.

"I love you too, Daniel Jackson." For a hypnotic moment, Jack caught Daniel's gaze on his, as if trying to make a connection that would never break even if he looked away.

Jack's tongue drew a trace down over Daniel's neck. He whimpered as Jack took turns taking his nipples into his mouth, sucking, nibbling and letting his breath wipe over them. Jack felt on his body that Daniel's erection must be almost painfully hard by now. But he wanted to spoil Daniel extensively.

For Jack, sex with Sara had always been a contrast to his brutal everyday work, an absolute distraction, almost a kind of meditation. He did not like fierce movements, everything was gentle, tender, romantic. The ice-cold Special Ops Air Force Col. Jack O'Neill, a trained sniper and capable of killing with bare hands, was on the other side of himself shy, affectionate, often hesitant and embarrassingly cuddly. Most of the time he wasn't aware of it himself, back then with Sara, that his romantic tendencies were the most important reason he had remained comparably sane - whatever the military threw at him.

Jack slowly captured Daniel with his tongue and hands, taking all the time in the world. He didn't like talking out loud, but what he did spoke volumes. Daniel's hands trembled as he searched Jack's brown eyes.

The archaeologist gasped softly as Jack's cheek brushed his erection. Finally he got to Daniel's feet, running his tongue over his ankles. While he took his right foot in his hand, he sat up, found Daniel's gaze, looked at him while he nibbled his big toe, kissed it, and finally sucked it in. With his fingertips he caressed the soles of his feet, continued sucking, Daniel had closed his eyes and was moaning deeply. On the left foot, Jack kissed slowly and with detours a bit upwards and decided that it now was time to take care of the essentials. He carefully took Daniel's testicles in his hand, put his lips around the glans, let his tongue circle.

"Ahhhh Jaaaajack-"

His lover's voice, his smell, helped him focus on reality. To the fact that he did this voluntarily. He managed to lock out the images in his head. To stay in the here and now.

He knew if he didn't face this problem it would haunt and catch up with him and in the worst case it would cost him Daniel. Not because Daniel couldn't live without blowjobs.  
Because Daniel would not be able to live with HIM if he woke up screaming night after night from nightmares for which Daniel blamed himself.

Jack concentrated on the soft skin on his lips. Licked the shaft up and down, half absorbing Daniel's erection, massaging the base with his hand. Sucked hard on the tip for a while, and incredibly, Daniel's organ was still getting a little bigger and harder.

Daniel's moan was very, very absent. "Careful ..." he managed to say.

Jack understood the warning, but wanted to finish it off for Daniel. Wanted to prove to him that he loved him, that he could do this for him, wanted to prove to himself that he controlled his demons. He desperately wanted to replace the bad memories with positive ones.

He just had to do it. This is for you Daniel. I love you so much.

"Jack..."

When Daniel splashed down his throat, it took all of Jack's self-control to lock the memories in the farthest corner of his head. But he consciously inhaled Daniel's scent, felt his soft skin and let the air flow deep into his stomach as he inhaled. And swallowed everything. Because this was Daniel.  
Jack closed his lips around Daniel's cock for a moment, until the contractions subsided. Then he felt Daniel's hands under his armpits, he was pulled up. Daniel wrapped his arms around Jack, kissing him wildly, enjoying the older man's weight.

"That was ... wow ... incredible," he whispered with a goofy grin on his face.

Jack smiled happily and nudged him with his nose.

Daniel's heart took a while to regain its normal rhythm. Sarah had disgusted to swallow, and Sha're ... she was as shy and clueless as he was. It had been very special, Jack swallowing his come. The contact, uninterrupted, so intimate and wonderful.

As an anthropologist, Daniel knew a lot about sex in theory. Putting all of these things into practice was a whole different matter. But nice.

They lay contentedly together for a while.

"Jack? Have you ever ... deflowered someone? "

"Yes." Jack looked at him. “Sara, my wife. Ex wife. We deflowered each other, so to speak. On our wedding night. "

Daniel returned his gaze and whispered, "Huh. That's ... I had no idea that ... I would have thought ... "

Jack answered the unspoken question in his eyes.

“Before Charlie ... I ... I grew up religious. My family was very traditional, Catholic Irish. All of that ... it meant something to me once. And Sara too. We'd been together since high school and got married after I graduated from Air Force Academy. "

Oh, there were reasons his military comrades didn't know a thing about his personal life. The ice-cold I-kill-you-with-my-bare-hands-Jack O'Neill, who lost his innocence on his wedding night?

"That means ... we together ... the Catholics must call that a sin," Daniel stated hesitantly.

Jack didn't answer for a long time. He looked down, absently stroked Daniel's shoulder with his thumb. Finally he spoke.

“No, Daniel. No. I can’t believe that anymore. Not in a long time. Since Charlie died and we went through the Stargate for the first time. You are everything I have. Us together ... it feels right. "

The hand on Daniel's back suddenly dug into his shoulder, so hard it almost hurt. "How can love be wrong, Daniel?"

"No way. Never, Jack. ”Daniel returned his gaze.

“I've never slept with a man before you…. If you ... well, I guess you've never ... with a man? "

It had been clear to Jack that the question came up. He had only thought that they could enjoy a few days together unencumbered beforehand. Trust Dr. Jackson hits the spot, he thought, his stomach spinning involuntarily. He closed his eyes. An overwhelming feeling of nausea flooded his body. He swallowed hard. 

That was the one question he didn't want to answer.

But he had to. He owed that to Daniel. And himself.

"Daniel, I ... no, at least not voluntarily so far," Jack pressed out.

Daniel held his breath. A puzzle fell together in his head.

Jack had sometimes screamed in panic in his nightmares. The first time he had grabbed him hard when he tried to wake him up. But Jack had just screamed louder and broke out in a sweat, startling with a violent movement. Daniel was lucky that he only got a bruise on his upper arm. For later nightmares, Daniel spoke quietly to Jack before touching him. And he avoided fierce movements.

Daniel reached out his hand to Jack's face, his thumb brushing his cheekbones.

"When ... who did it?"

"Iraq. As a POW. ”Jack forced himself to look at Daniel. The wrinkles around his eyes tightened.

Daniel let the bated breath escape.

“I don't know if I can talk about it, Danny. Maybe. I'll try, okay? ”  
Their eyes locked on each other.

“I'll be there for you, Jack. Does not matter when. Around the clock. I don't know ... how ... Jack, will we ... can we ... we don't have to have sex if that ..."

Jack grabbed Daniel's shoulder and shook him gently.

"Ah-ah. Do not worry. I'm not made of sugar, okay? You don't have to wrap me in cotton. I ... I WANT to have sex with you, Danny. If that´s okay with you."

"OK. It's OK. I'm sorry."

Daniel himself knew what it was like when everyone looked at you pityingly. He had been the poor little orphan boy too long to thoroughly hate the pity in the eyes of others.

But how should he NOT pack Jack in cotton? It would be unbearable for him to unintentionally hurt his friend. Daniel wondered how Jack came up with the idea of giving him a blow job, how it was for him to have sex in the first place. Oh God. The blowjob had been good, really good. Not that he had much comparability, but ... shit. To know that Jack had done this under duress in prison was horrific. As long as Jack didn't tell what happened to him, he would always be nervous.

Daniel decided for himself to do extensive research on the subject of rape and torture. As an anthropologist, he also had relationships with former colleagues that he could use. 

He knew Jack's aversion to shrinks too well. He shared it. Had endured numerous therapy attempts in his life, many as a child and some in the Air Force. None of them had been useful.

Merde. Merde. Merde. Nom d´un chien! Daniel cursed for himself. When he was upset, his thoughts spooled around in french. It had been his mothers native language.

He was familiar with several reports from victims of torture. He was afraid to hear what Jack had experienced.

And he blamed himself. He had never asked Jack before what had happened to him during his imprisonment, even though his friend had made several hints about how bad it had been for him.  
Jack had been made a drug addict, pounded through his skull. He remembered every word, clearly and distinctly. And those hints, from someone like Jack, came close to wanting to talk about it.

Was he so absorbed in his work again that there was no time for his best friend? Had his own addiction to the sarcophagus cloud his mind so much?

Under these conditions, in any case, their love life would be an exciting challenge. Daniel vowed to himself never to take his work more seriously than Jack. At the same time he knew, under their working conditions, it would be really difficult to keep this promise.

“Sleep well, Jack. I love you. Je t'aime. "

“Me too, Danny. Sleep well," whispered Jack.

Jacks face was gray. And the cramped abdominal muscles spoke volumes. If Daniel let him, he would keep burying everything until it destroyed him.

But Daniel wouldn't let that happen. Daniel was wrapped tightly around Jack, his nose buried in the back of his neck and a hand on his stomach. Jack was curled up like an embryo, his preferred sleeping position. Daniel had a suspicion why that was, and he just didn´t want to think about that at the moment.

Daniel muttered barely understandable nonsense to himself in different languages, assurances that he loved Jack, that he would do anything to help him, to protect him. That he was sorry, that he hadn't spoken to him about it earlier, that he hadn't asked about his imprisonment or about his drug addiction. He didn't just do it to reassure Jack, but himself.  
And of course he knew that Jack would have blocked any conversation in that direction anyway. It would still have been my duty as a friend to tease it out of him. Shake it out, if necessary.

It took the archaeologist and linguist a while to collect himself enough to make halfway meaningful sentences.

"Jack, I promise, I'll do everything I can ... to make it ... make it go away. I know some things never go away. But sometimes you can forget it for a little while, and then for a little longer, and at some point ... you rarely think about it."

He knew it. He had seen it himself. Over and over again. The story of his life.

Daniel hesitated before continuing his thought.

"Maybe ... maybe I can kiss it away ... at least I can try.  
With Sarah and Sha're ... there was always something more important than them, Jack. My work. Be patient with me. It's ... I can't ... you know. I want to spend as much time with you as possible, I'll try ... when I ... you ... you have to drag me out of my office, Jack. When we're together ... alone ... I'm there for you. You are the most important person in my life. I want you to be fine. That you will be healed again. "

Jack whispered so softly that Daniel almost didn't hear it, and his voice nearly broke over the words.

"Thank you, Danny."

It took both of them a long time till sleep came. Something haunted Daniel's head, he couldn't grab it, it was ... he knew it was knowledge, something he might be able to help Jack with. But it was just out of his reach.

At one point, Jack slept like a baby in Daniel's arms. Daniel was his very own nightmare scare. And Jack was Daniels.

* o *

"Mgrrrlmpf," growled Daniel as he felt Jack's lips against his neck. But Jack just grinned. It was almost nine thirty, time even for archaeologists to get up. Conveniently, they had fallen asleep without their boxer shorts. He crawled under the covers. Without warning, he put Daniel's morning erection in his mouth and sucked hard. 

Jack wasn't as relaxed as he outwardly seemed to be, but he really wanted to keep Daniel from thinking too much about what they could and couldn't do together. He was surprised at how easy it was for him to feel Daniel's erection in his mouth. How much it made a difference. This was Daniel, a loved one. And he was in control of the situation.

"Ahhhhh .... Jjjjck !!!"

Awake, definitely. He began to lick the glans devotedly, pushed his tongue into the crevice, took Daniel in as far as he could, which the linguist acknowledged with a deep groan. Then he gave him a light kiss on the tip before he pushed himself up on him, planted a kiss on Daniel's mouth and stated:

"Coffee is ready."

The Air Force Colonel passed a large mug to his archaeologist. Daniel accepted it with half-closed eyes, blew a breath of air over the hot liquid and drank.

"Thanks, Jack." Daniel smiled sleepily at him.

After two cups - Jack had put the coffee pot on the bedside table presciently - Daniel decided that he was sufficiently awake. It was the weekend, they were off, and he wanted to enjoy it. Now he had something to enjoy.

Daniel threw his arms around Jack's neck and pulled him into a long, playful good morning kiss. His hand wandered lower and stroked Jack's half erect cock. But Jack stopped him gently.

"There's still an unfinished job waiting for me," he muttered in the crook of Daniel's neck, sliding down. He licked Daniel's shaft, kissed and nibbled until Daniel was rock hard. Then he took it deeply in his throat without warning. Concentrate, O'Neill. This is Daniel.

Yes. He could do it. He wanted it. Yesterday he'd done it voluntarily for the first time in his life, and the world was still turning. Nothing wrong. He did it for love. And it was wonderful. Even swallowing the semen, Daniel's semen, was ... it was like some ... purification after being forced to do this so many times. He wanted to have Daniel in him, to taste him, to feel him coming in his throat.

Daniel groaned in pleasure when he felt so unexpectedly surrounded by Jack. Jack took turns sucking and licking while his fingers massaged the base vigorously.  
A hoarse gasp as Jack's fingers moved further down and massaged under the testicles. Jack's tongue pushed into the crevice of the glans, at the same time his index finger exerted gentle pressure on the base.

Daniel spilled into his mouth shortly afterwards. Jack consciously relaxed, knew the feel, the taste of Daniel's semen now. Swallowed everything Daniel gave him again, clutching his cock until the contractions subsided.

Daniel lay half-upright in the pillow and wrapped his arms around Jack's shoulders as he kissed him slowly, wetly and with pleasure. His first impulse was "uh". It was unfamiliar to taste his own seed on Jack's tongue. But somehow it was also very, very erotic. Like a strange feedback-loop.

Daniel fixed Jack, taking in his features as if seeing him for the first time. It was a strange experience Jack giving blowjobs like a god. And a creepy thought that Jack might have learned it with a gun to his head. Daniel tried to suppress this thought as best he could. He had decided to let Jack take the lead on how far they wanted to go.

Daniel felt Jack's erection against his stomach. It made him feel giddy, and he wanted... But reality shattered the moment and an urgent need became overwhelming. Shit. Merde!

"Wait a moment. I have to go... "

When he came back from the bathroom, he saw legs and a bum on the bed, the rest of it disappearing somewhere beneath.

"What are you doing there, Jack?"

"Try to tidy up something," came a pressed answer from below.

Daniel walked around the bed to find that Jack had pulled out a large pile of fishing magazines and National Geographic magazines from underneath and was repackaging them.

Wrong priorities, clearly. There had to be a way to do something about it.

He sat on the bed next to Jack and massaged the underside of his legs. A brief sound of protest rang out, which quickly turned into a pleasant grunt as Daniel's hands skillfully kneaded the muscles, finally wandered to the feet and continued their work there. At first Jack continued sorting, but when Daniel got to his feet, he slowly pushed himself back onto the bed. Daniel thought he had Jack back with him and wanted to quit, but a quiet "no" stopped him.

"That's good what you're doing, Danny," Jack said into the mattress.

"Better than sorting fishing magazines?" Daniel grinned.

"Yeah sure you betcha." Jack grunted a bit again and gestured with one hand tangled above his head. “The stacks were a bit high. They ... uh ... would crash if we ... use the bed for... uh... you know. " Daniel accepted the confession without comment.

"Do you have oil, Jack?"

"Bath."

"Stay in bed this time, will ya?"

Daniel got the oil and actually found Jack just as he had left him. He poured it into his hand and waited a moment. Then he spread it on Jack's shoulders and back, knelt over it and massaged the knotted muscles. Alternated between gentle and energetic, trying to pull the knots on Jack's shoulder blades apart. Occasionally the Colonel grimaced in pain, but he didn't ask Daniel to stop. When Daniel noticed that his hands wouldn't hold out much longer, he turned Jack onto his back, put more oil in one hand and this time spread it on Jack's upper body. His fingers were tired and he wanted a completely different type of massage. He had dreamed of having sex with Jack for as long as it was. What it would be like to feel that wonderful long big cock that he had been glancing at in the shower.

Embarrassed, he had found his dildo in the bedside table in the guest room. It was his own bedside table, a beautiful antique piece from his parents, and the dildo was where it had always been in his memory.  
For a long time Daniel had resigned himself to the fact that he loved Jack but couldn't have him, at least not in the way he wished. For the first time in his life he had sex fantasies that were worthy of the label. And then he bought this dildo and made some discoveries about his body. Daniel couldn't help grinning as he thought of how naive he had been as a student and graduate student in every way, completely absorbed by his work and detatched from the world.

He had written a great deal about Jack in his private diaries. How friendship turned into love. How he slowly realized after Sha're's death that he loved him. And then he read his notes on the dildo, hoping the thing hadn't been used for the amusement of a military cleanup party. Fortunately, these fears proved unfounded. There was a note in the box with the dildo.

"Danny. I found this on the bedside table in your apartment and thought you'd like to keep it. The bedside table too, of course. Have fun. Jack."

Daniel smiled to himself when he held the dildo in his hand for the first time after his descension. It felt smooth and heavy.

"To be honest, we threw a whole ton away" Jack had told him shortly after his return. Daniel he hadn't expected WHAT Jack had saved. At this point he couldn't remember most of the things anyway, and he didn't care. And then he found that Jack had cleaned up very specifically for him. Jack had actually treated his things with great respect. The only thing really missing were old, broken clothes. And some artifacts from his office that needed further processing in Area 51.

Daniel sighed on Jack's neck as he traced a trail of small kisses over his skin. Now he had what he had longed for. Jack. Life size. And he wanted to feel that wonderful real erection inside of him. If ... if that was okay with Jack.

Daniel stroked Jack with his fingertips, felt the scars under his hands, traced each one. Looked at Jack, who was looking at him with half-closed eyes. Wandered slowly, very slowly, down over the belly. Stroking the back of his hand provocatively over Jack's erection, massaging him with oil. Jack sighed at the touch. Daniel lay down on top of him to kiss his lover. Nibbled his lower lip, licked his upper lip lightly.

“I would love to feel you inside me, Jack. Is that OK? Is that what you want? ”Daniel looked him in the eye, needed his reaction. He saw pleasure coupled with uncertainty.

"Don't want to hurt you, Danny."

"You won´t."

Daniel knelt, but Jack rolled him onto his back.

"Danny, I need to look at you," asked Jack. "I ... have read, it's harder this way ... but ..."

“It's ok, Jack. I have practiced with... you know. You gave it back to me . Not with this body, but ... "Daniel groaned comfortably as he felt Jack's weight on him, his erection pressing against his own.

While kissing Daniel, Jack poured oil into the palm of his hand and spread the greasy liquid liberally.

Instead of going straight to the target, he massaged the oil into Daniel's upper body and felt his way down very slowly. Daniel found that Jack was an excellent massage therapist.

Oh wait. That was it. Massage. Daniel knew what he could possibly help Jack with. A litte bit, maybe. Tantra massages. Daniel froze briefly under Jack's hands when he remembered.

"Hey, Danny? What's on your mind?" He ran his thumb over Jack's cheekbones. “That feels really good. I want to give you a massage as soon as possible. May I?"

“Daniel, Daniel. Hold still.”Jack tapped lightly with his index finger on Daniels chest. “Now it's your turn. Later. "

After an eternity, Jack noticed Daniel's erection, slowly stroking it up and down. Then devoted himself to the testicles, circling the opening.

He felt like a researcher who bravely stepped into completely unknown dangerous territory that he only knew from books.

Well, ok, from the internet.

He didn't dare to enter. Massaged on and on, Daniel gasped.

JaaaaJack ...

His lover let out a sharp breath as he touched the perineum.

Daniel lay on his back, panting, biting his lower lip, his face reflecting pure lust. Carefully he pressed one finger against Daniel's opening, feeling how Daniel pushed greedily towards it. Got a little braver, moved his finger in a circle, then looked for a specific spot.

OhyesyesyessssJACK!

Jack felt and circled the walnut-sized bump. Daniel squirmed, groaning, his legs falling wide apart. Then Jack applied rhythmic pressure.

"Jack, that's ... ohhhhyessss!"

Daniel's features in the clutches of passion were an incredibly erotic sight. Lips parted slightly, fingers clawed in the sheet, panting.

He mentally scrolled through the 101 of gay sex and inserted a second finger. Experimentally spread his fingers, now avoiding contact with the prostate. Daniel writhed on his fingers with relish. A third finger found its way almost effortlessly into Daniel's insides and Jack's erection dripped when he saw his half hand disappear into Daniel's now very relaxed anus.

"Oh goddamn, I'm not made of china ..."

Jack fluently exchanged his fingers for his rock hard penis, carefully placed his glans on Daniel's opening. The young archaeologist came towards him with a groan.

Jack penetrated him slowly, very slowly, Daniel grimaced, concentrated lines appeared on his forehead. Oh damn, that's tight.

The archaeologist firmly clutched Jack's bum. Remembering to push his inner muscles down, holding him in place as if he feared Jack could back out. Finally Jack sank down to the base, panting. Waited until Daniel's expression relaxed, found a slow rhythm sustaining them for a while.

Jack breathed in the crook of Daniel's neck, kissed his throat. He watched Daniel, lying obliviously below him, his legs wrapped around the small of Jack's back. Jack wanted to remember their first time, consciously absorbed it, wanted it to last forever. Tenderly he kissed a trace over Daniel's chin, nibbled on his stubbly jawbone, searched for his mouth. When their lips met, he felt electrical discharges propagate into his lap. As they slowly made love, Jack lost track of time.

Daniel searched his eyes and he was overwhelmed by the warmth he found in them. It was almost surreal, Jack's slow, tender movements and his gentle gaze. He wanted it to stay that way forever. The feeling of pleasure just before overflowing. The feeling of being surrounded by love in a blanket. 

As Jack's arm slowly went numb from propping it up, he decided they should come to an end. He straightened up a little more and noticed by Daniel's distant sigh that he hit his pleasure point better now. Carefully he increased the pace, Daniel came towards him, wrapped his legs tighter around him.

"Jack oh god love you ... yeaaaah! ... right there ... harder ..."

Jack took Daniel's erection tightly and pumped in the same rhythm with his thrusts. Daniel reached for Jack's buttocks, pulled him energetically in one last time and came with a deep, deep gasp. The sight of his lover spilling over his hand, the look of pure ecstasy on his face and Daniel's contractions around his cock made Jack come with him.

After the waves of pleasure subsided, Jack rolled over on his side and took Daniel with him. Their faces pressed together, they lay there, holding onto each other. Their breathing slowly calmed down.

"Did I hurt you, Danny?" Jack asked softly.

The archaeologist shook his head.

“No, Jack. That was ... very intense. Intimate. Unlike anything I've ever done before in bed." He touched Jack's face with his fingertips and added quietly,  
"Thanks. "

"Any time."

The archaeologist hesitated before looking Jack in the eyes again.

"Jack, is ... is everything ok?"

"Yeah, sure."

Daniel gave his upper arm a quick squeeze and decided to leave it at that for today. He surrendered to post-orgasmic indolence and pulled his lover closer to him to get a little more sleep. Later he wanted to give Jack an extensive massage. And then he had an appointment with a real estate agent.

He would play the piano with Jack in the future. But to keep up appearances, he definitely had to buy his own house soon.


	2. Everyday life in a secret relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack’s and Daniel's life is challenging. But at the end of the day, if they somehow get around to it, they give themselves a treat ... If the day was bad, it's stress relief too. Especially after the Stromos incident.
> 
> A little summary how Jacks and Daniels relationship works, both technically with espionage and those things, and also personally. Sort of an in-between-chapter, before the story really gets going after they got together as a couple.

For the first time since Charlie's death, Jack saw meaning in his life. A purpose that went beyond surviving the next mission and fighting the Goa'ould with the last of his strength. A positive sense. Loving Daniel was a release for him. He hadn't even realized how depressed he'd been alone.

The best thing was, Daniel didn't wait for him at home and attacked him with questions how he was. In his marriage, he’d never been allowed to tell Sara anything about work details, and it had put a strain on their life. Unlike Sara, Daniel didn’t have to ask how Jack felt because he had been with him. He just knew. 

Jack's language was touch anyway, and Daniel longed for touch (as long as it was Jack who touched him). Some evenings they hardly spoke a word to each other, but they stuck together like limpets. Daniel silently came to terms with his work, everything from incomplete translations to exhausting deadly fights. Jack watched Daniel doing that, and for himself he pushed the deadly fights with years of practice into the nightmare corner of his brain. 

During all of this, their relationship became more real to him. Jack allowed the thought of sex to return to his life, and his sexual desire for Daniel grew and evolved from day to day side by side with his love for him. This was a thing he fell into with Daniels return from the Ascended, and it certainly took time to get used to regarding his history, but it was worth it. Having company and being in love was a wonderful change for both of them.

They cooked for themselves at least once a week. In an intimate, almost seductive dance, they moved during the preparations and then ate next to each other on the couch. While Daniel was reading and Jack was watching TV, they sporadically jotted comments about. Mostly cryptic, completely incomprehensible to an uninitiated listener, they mastered the daily madness in their own way.

Their relationship was a lifeline for the two of them, an anchor that provided a sanctuary for human needs in a completely insane job. For the logistics of their secret relationship, however, “demanding” was a very understated description. It was made even more challenging by the fact that they both worked for a homophobic organization like the Air Force. And to top it all off, not only was their relationship a secret, but the Stargate project too. Which drew the uninvited attention of secret

services, politicians, journalists and occasionally foreign and extra-planetary forces on them. If Jack hadn't spent half his life in Special Ops, they would have been exposed within the first few months. That much was certain.

At first, sharing house after Daniels descension was a welcome opportunity to spend a lot of time together. It couldn't go on like this forever, of course, that would have been just too noticeable in the long term. With the help of some cleverly constructed cover stories, they sometimes managed to be together four to five nights a week, even after Daniel had bought his own house. Daniel in his job addiction, however, voluntarily slept on the base so often that Jack pondered frustrated how he had earned it. But for their cover, he had to admit, it was more than useful. 

One of the favorite cover stories was about Daniel's grand piano. Jack regularly teased Daniel in the commissary that he had to visit his musical instrument because it was walled in in the guest room. And that he owed him the rent for the walled-in-piano-in-guest-room for several months. 

„Hey, it wasn't MY idea to squeeze the grand piano into a space that is way too small."

„You get the pizza. You owe me the rent again.“

That and "I should have cut this thing down and thrown it in the fireplace!" was their typical Jack-Daniel entertainment program during the lunch break, performed for everyone who was listening.

Jack insisted to take Daniel home for his "music lessons" after work. Jack never got tired of emphasizing that he didn't want Daniel to ring his doorbell in the early hours of the morning. Everyone knew Daniel's strange work habits, regularly until late at night. Jack being a bit mean about the piano thing was so typical public Jack behavior, it drew all attention to other things but to their intimate personal relationship.

Jack and Daniel's weekly hockey nights were established at the SGC from the start, which guaranteed them another unsuspicious day together. The fact that after hockey, Daniel regularly slept off his beer intoxication in Jack's guest room was common knowledge.

Yet another cover story was Daniel helping Jack tend to his garden because of his knees. That, too, was an old habit from before Daniel's ascension. He hadn't owned a garden. When the opportunity arose, he liked to dig in the mud while Jack mowed the lawn.

Unfortunately, the two older ladies in Jack's distant neighborhood were entranced by the nice young man with the friendly smile and those big blue eyes. One day one of these ladies was lying in wait for him while he was weeding. She was obviously looking for a son-in-law because she asked him bluntly what his wife was doing - someone who was so nice and handsome surely had a wife? 

Daniel was in a pretty bad mood that day because Jack had been injured on a mission through his fault (or so he told himself). It was more than he could take to be reminded of Sha're as well.

„My wife was kidnapped and died. Please, I ... "

The gardening archaeologist didn't have to play-act that he was close to tears. The old lady clapped her hands over her mouth and stammered an apology. For the moment Daniel was rid of her. However, she tried to sneak up on him several times to question him further. She just didn't succeed, because now Daniel was warned and always had something heavy for the compost heap in his hands when he saw her approach. But he had used the opportunity to rub it in her face that he was married.

They had great fun packing ambiguous conversations into the topic of gardening when queuing in the commissary.

„Hey, Daniel, my garden needs to be dug up again."

„Mine too, Jack, but I'm not doing it, the pollen is flying right now."

„Then take your medication, damn it!"

„I have to get a new prescription, Jack, because two weeks ago I already took an overdose TO DIG UP YOUR GARDEN! I need the next ones to dig up my OWN garden!“ 

Another security measure in the line of their secret relationship daily routine were escape routes in case they were unexpectedly visited. They had chosen to buy Daniel's house because it had a back exit through the garden not visible from the front. At Jacks, the entire backyard was hidden from the view of neighboring properties.

Daniels house had a small apartment in it with an additional entrance from the outside. He rented out to students, for several advantages. For the neighbors it was confusing who visited. And there was always someone in the house in case he and Jack were stuck somewhere in the universe for a long time. Daniel had a deal with the student couple who lived with him. When he wasn't there in the evening, they were allowed to celebrate parties and use the garden. That increased the confusion even further. Fortunately, the neighboring houses were far enough away that no one complained about the noise. 

The effort to effectively monitor Daniel's house was very high for an interested secret service: Three people would have been needed on opposite ends of the property for the individual entrances. 

Anyway, every member of an SG team had installed a strong jammer in their home since the incident with Orlin and the problems with the NID. Secret camera surveillance and other bugs were no problem. Jack was also always testing Sam's new developments in counterintelligence tools based on alien technology.

Jack and Daniel used complicated knock signals to replace entire conversations. As a security feature, they coded which meal was the first they had eaten together that day, or whether they had eaten together at all. Not only did they knock on their doors to indicate their identity, they also warned each other against unexpected company of colleagues, possible persecutors or armed opponents. An artifact turned back and forth in Daniel's office was used to exchange information about whether they were meeting at Jack's or Daniel's. Or in one of their cars. 

The car meeting point was important on some days. It was their ritual when they had an argument on a mission. Before going home, they cleared up their problems in the car. Jack and Daniel had never argued privately, disregarding the unfortunate Tollana incident. And it was especially important to Jack that it stayed that way. His home had always been an harmonious retreat for him. At least until Charlie died. 

Generally helpful for hiding their relationship in plain sight was the fact of their legendary battles about nearly everything at work. Because of that the idea Jack and Daniel were a couple struck many colleagues and comrades in the SGC as absurd. Only some people blamed unresolved sexual tension for the very same quarrels. Few of them could guess what Jack and Daniel meant to each other (to a certain extent). 

And what it was that held their friendship and love together. 

Daniel Jackson was a man with a deep-seated guilt complex. He hadn't been able to save his parents from death by the falling cover stone. He was unable to protect his wife, she was kidnapped, made the host of a Goa'ould and died at the hand of one of his best friends. He had failed to save so many innocent beings they encountered on their wormhole journeys. Even his ex-girlfriend had fallen victim to a Goa'ould, as if he was cursed to bring bad luck to all loved ones. 

Jack had been injured because of him, several times.

Each of his sometimes insane attempts to save other people was an attempt to alleviate his guilt. He gained this insight after months of meditation with Teal'c, and he first had to die, ascend and let himself be thrown out of the Oma Desala fan club before he realized it. 

At first glance, Jack and Daniel seemed very different. At second glance they had something that made them stick together like limpets. 

It was guilt and unresolved grief.

They were so comfortable with each other because these things had driven them both to the edge of their existence. And because they'd both experienced the depression that came with it. On the other hand, they overcame their acute depressions and it let them grow stronger. They had both steered their guilt in one direction - the fight against the Goa'ould. 

Jack and Daniel shared a wordless understanding, a quiet community. They recognized the weak points in the other, did not judge, only accepted, and comforted one another. 

Jack had been raised Catholic, and constant guilt had accompanied his childhood and youth. As an adult, a career as an officer meant taking responsibility for the dead under his command. The death of his son was the final piece of the guilt puzzle before attempting to commit suicide on Abydos. Since the two men had been friends, they both felt better. From the beginning they helped each other through their grief. 

Daniel was very emotional by nature, but physically dismissive. Jack didn't know why, but Daniel still allowed him comforting hugs when he was visibly depressed. 

For Jack it was absent staring at the photos in his living room that gave Daniel the signal to discreetly distract him. At times when they were just friends, Daniel usually stood next to him in silence for a moment. Before he went to the refrigerator, he hesitantly put his hand on Jack's shoulder. Jack was aware of how much it took Daniel to touch him. And he appreciated the fact that Daniel offered him closeness without urging him to talk.

Even better, on Daniel's way back from the fridge, a cold beer appeared in Jack's hand as if by magic, and Daniel steered him either onto the couch or onto the front porch. Daniel quickly realized that talking wasn't Jack's way of dealing with personal problems. Even so, he often got him to talk about Charlie. He never asked directly, but he steered the conversation so skillfully that at some point Jack proudly reported on his own wonderful experiences with his son.

.oOo.

As happy as the turn of her private life was, their missions had remained dangerous and draining. 

They had walked back through the gate from the Stromos an hour ago. Although everything looked fine, Fraiser insisted on a thorough follow-up. They couldn't risk an uninvited guest residing in Daniel's head after all. Jack spotted the archaeologist on one of the beds with the curtain half drawn. He was already in casual clothes and rubbing his head.

„Hey, did she at least give you something to pull the nails out of your skull?“

"Mmmmmph." 

Jack looked around for a moment, no one was visible, and he drew the curtain all the way. It had been clear from the start that intimacy on the base was completely taboo. 

That was their official unofficial theory.

In reality, Jack's nerves were on edge. And at that moment he felt unable to put a car key in an ignition lock without slipping. The Colonel wrapped his arms tightly around Daniel and rested his head on his shoulder. 

Breathe. 

Take a deep breath.

Daniel was safe in his arms. 

Jack continued to concentrate on breathing. Inhaling Daniel. 

He felt Daniel's hands massaging his back from below and he felt Daniel's lips against his neck. If someone pulled the curtain now, they had a problem.

„I hope she discharged you," Jack whispered in Daniel's ear. "

„She has.“

„Then let's go home immediately. I have plans that cannot be delayed.“

.oOo.

On a day like this, they ignored all precautions and drove in one car. It would probably have been more noticeable anyway if Jack hadn't taken Daniel with him after this incident. He was known as a very caring team leader. Daniel got two large bags of Indian food on the way. Not Chinese or Italian as usual.

„Hot today, Danny?" Jack asked as he got back into the car.

"Maybe later, Jack," Daniel grinned.

„And you don’t have to worry, yours is milder than mine." 

They ate in front of the television watching a recorded hockey game. Daniel was very quiet. Jack occasionally gave him sideways looks. His companion gulped down his food, then brooded with a beer in hand. The Colonel waited for a comment, anything, but he kept silent. That was unusual.

„And who was the worst of them all?" He asked casually and put his arm on the arm of the sofa behind Daniel. 

Rely on Jack to hit the mark with his questions. Daniel put the beer on the coffee table and buried his face in his hands. He didn't want to answer that question, but he didn't have the energy to avoid Jack. The Colonel would have noticed anyway and wouldn't have rested.

„The little boy," he whispered between his hands. The little boy was so scared. In many ways he reminded Daniel of his own childhood after the death of his parents. And those were memories he had carefully pushed aside. It must have been hard for Jack too. He couldn't bear to see children suffer. 

Jack didn't say anything, just pulled him tight, for Daniel, but also for himself. There were days when so many unfortunate incidents came together that they couldn't and didn't want to talk. Too many poorly healed wounds were at stake. Jack sensed Daniel's reasons for his silence, and he was grateful to him, swallowed the rising tears and concentrated on stroking Daniel's back evenly. He felt Daniel's hands crawl around his shoulders and relaxed under the touch. They sat there for a long time, their faces buried in their partner's neck. Some days it was better to hide everything. 

The Air Force these days offered meditation classes to learn how to cope with bad experiences. Jack had never really gotten used to it, but he was sure he could inhale Daniel's scent and feeling his arms around him helped better. And Daniel felt safe in Jack's embrace, as if nothing could happen to him. At one point Jack raised his head and searched for Daniel's lips. They kissed for the first time after their return from the mountain. Then he took Daniel's hand.

„Come on, let's check whether one of your miracle cures also works with two people in the bathtub." 

He pulled a slightly dazed archaeologist behind him up the stairs into the bathroom next to the bedroom. The tension slipping away from him had often this effect on him. Jack choose his favorite bath oil from the shelf behind the tub. The extensive collection had multiplied from just a few bottles in the years ahead of Daniel's ascension - Daniel had given him a special bath additive on every occasion. 

The first time, he had stared at him open-mouthed, and the sarcastic remark on his tongue appropriate to his hard-ass image just didn’t want to cross his lips. Instead he just asked „How ...?" 

"... I know you use something like that?" Daniel's mouth twitched. 

„Sam was in the guest bathroom, I drank a little too much beer and you said, I quote 'Take the cherry tree in the backyard or climb up the stairs, the bathroom is on the left.'" 

„Ah." Jack remembered that he was able to display good manners if he wanted. His brown eyes sparkled warmly as he added a soft "thank you". The bath additive had been a small present because of a stay in the infirmary, and proof for Jack how much Daniel cared for him. But even Daniel had only friendly feelings for Jack at the time. Jack's favorite bath oil was the kind Daniel had brought him back then and several times since. He always used it after particularly stressful missions to wash away the dirt of distant planets along with the unpleasant memories. He'd never told Daniel that, of course, and it actually belonged in the ‚embarrassing secrets of the I'll-kill-you-with-bare-hands Colonel’ category. Of course, the emphatic scientist had figured out what all the bath products on Jack’s shelf were for without asking - and it was characteristic of Daniel to notice them immediately. 

Slowly and gently they undressed each other. Jack got into the tub first and invited Daniel to sit between his legs. Fortunately, Jack had a large bathtub. Jack poured some bath oil into the running water and into his hands. Then he pushed Daniel away a little to massage his stiff neck and scalp. The archeologist's pleased grunts confirmed the success of his efforts. Soon Daniel was leaning back against his chest and turning so that he could kiss him. Jack's oily hands wandered to his chest, first with the whole hand, then he gently twirled the nipples between thumb and forefinger.

„Oh god, Jack. Yes. That’s good." 

One of Jack's hands slid lower and grabbed Daniel's erection. But after a few strokes Daniel put his hand on Jack's and stopped him.

„Wait, Jack. I want you in me. If you don't stop, I'll come very fast. " 

He turned and leaned on the opposite side of the tub. Jack poured more oil into his hand, rubbed it in, and took more oil. Leaning forward, he felt for Daniel's opening underwater. He ran his finger several times over the perineum and through the crevice before carefully entering. Daniel rammed his finger into his hole with one forceful movement.

„Whooo hooo, hold on, take care!"

„Sorry, Jack." Daniel gasped. „I need this. Need to feel my body." 

He knew that Jack usually preferred the gentle version. But today he couldn't help it. He wanted to feel his own body, to feel intensely, to prove to himself that he could do what he wanted with it.

„Finger me, please Jack. As hard as you can. Three fingers. Now!" Jack could tell that he was serious. He felt a bit queasy about it, his eyes narrowed involuntary, but he oiled his hands again. Jack found Daniel's anus quickly as it slid down the thigh. The muscle resisted, the fingers were stopped. Daniel groaned in frustration.

„Please go on." And Jack did. Not as fast as Daniel would have preferred, but two fingers slid in instantly, followed by three.

„Harder, Jack. Damn it, do it as hard as you can, ”he gasped. 

Jack closed his eyes the first time he rammed his fingers into Daniel and pulled them out again.

„Ahhhh, yeah, right there, fuck me, Jack, faster!" Daniel pulled his legs up to give Jack more space.

Fuck me really hard!" OK. He really meant it. Jack had to admit, it made him indescribably horny, how lustful Daniel pressed himself on his fingers, and there was no doubt he wanted it. His dirty choice of words played their part. He opened his eyes, he had to see how Daniel reacted. And hit the spot, and again, immediately. Daniel writhed, groaning, the water sloshing right up to the edge. Jack gasped as he worked his fingers on Daniel's pleasure point - harder, faster, harder. Just as Daniel wished. The resistance he had first felt had completely disappeared. Daniel's hole sucked on his fingers. And that encouraged Jack to really push as hard and fast as he could.

With a drawn out howling "Yeah!" Daniel grabbed his cock, pumped twice with a firm grip and came. Like a fountain, the come exploded just below the surface and splashed into the water. His seed was pulled in threads and billowed under the oil. 

Jack let out a low moan. He couldn't really let go himself during sex, but it gave him pleasure how Daniel lost control completely. The archaeologist hung for a few minutes in the corner of the bathtub, exhausted and breathing heavily, while Jack put his feet in his lap and massaged them gently. He carefully kept them away from his erection. He wanted to save it for later - depending on what Daniel felt like doing. 

„Thanks, Jack. That was ... I needed it, "he muttered, splashing some water over his sweaty face. He pulled his feet under himself and crouched down. Daniel interwove his hand with Jack's and looked at him.

„I want to feel you inside me, now your cock. Okay?“

He never touched Jack below the belt without warning. They had their own language for it, sometimes they didn’t need to speak and Daniel asked with touch and looks. But if they had never done something like having sex in the bathtub, Daniel asked directly.

„Oh yeah. Do you have any idea how hard I am? You have a filthy gab, Dr. Jackson." 

Daniel maneuvered himself over Jack's hard member. The otherwise rather reserved Jack gasped when Daniel rammed it home with a quick movement. With consideration for the water and Jack's preference for soft sex, he moved slowly afterwards. At times he sat motionless on Jack, whose breathing became faster and faster when Daniel contracted his muscles rhythmically around his erection. Their eyes never let go of each other. 

Jack saw Daniel's pupils dilate in his blue eyes for the first time when he was very excited. It was an expression of pure passion and love. Usually his eyelids drooped as soon as he felt Jack inside him. Amazingly, thearchaeologist was half hard again. 

Daniel noticed for the first time how tenderly and focused Jack looked at him when they made love. He wanted to hold on to that warm look that kept away unhappiness and self-doubt. He leaned over to kiss Jack. Their tongues danced a slow tango while Daniel's fingertips ran over Jack's chest, increasingly firm, and his muscles greedily grabbed Jack's erection. 

Then he felt Jack's hands on his hips, gripping him hard. Jack came slowly and intensely, his head thrown back, with a long exhale. Daniel wiped the sweat from his face with water. They rested in the tub for a while, hands clasped. To wash off the oil, they lathered each other in the shower.

Then Jack set out to give Daniel a blow job, but he stopped him. Almost shyly he looked at the drops of water on Jack's chest before expressing his wish.

„Would you ... can you, well ... the dildo, can you imagine using that? I mean on me, of course, ”he added when he saw Jack's eyes widen.

„After such missions, when it almost went to hell, I need it a little harder. I used to take the dildo before we were together and imagined it's you. You literally fucked my brains out in my fantasy, possessively, over and over again. After that I slept better.“

Jack watched him, unmoved, and Daniel was afraid he would have overwhelmed him with his confession. 

„I'm sorry, Jack. I'll ... go to the guest room ...“

Daniel suddenly had a lump in his stomach. He turned to step out of the shower. "Daniel." Jack grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back into his arms. 

„Thank you for entrusting me with this. That was pretty brave. It’s really hard to talk about something like that. No matter what you tell me about yourself, that's why I'll love you just as much, you know that, ok?

The Colonel laid his head on Daniel's hair. „We will find a solution. I have to admit, the idea takes some getting used to.“ Jack swallowed.

„But maybe ...” he thought and absently stroked Daniel's cheek with his thumb. „Maybe you can do it yourself the first time and I'll watch? Then I know what to do.“ The archaeologist squeezed his hand, grateful.

„OK. I'll be right back. Got to find a few more things. Wait for me, it will take a moment. Go ahead.“

Daniel didn't want to explain that he was going to do a thorough rinse with the shower attachment. He suspected that it would really be too much. He had bought the thing new a few weeks ago, Jack obviously couldn't assign the previous model to any function and had thrown it away. He didn't use the shower on normal days, but thought it was more comfortable for a dildo session. His erection came back when he inserted the attachment with the massage jet and moved it back and forth in a circle. On normal days it was total sensory overload, but today he needed that extreme sense of fullness from the water pouring into his body. 

He didn't know whether that was healthy, but at the moment he wasn't interested either. Up to a point it was extremely awesome to be filled so much - until the cramps started.

He made it to the toilet before the water left his opening in an explosive gush. He repeated the rinse three times and tested the result with a finger. His insides felt silky smooth. Just the way he wanted it. Daniel dried himself off, took a deep breath and retrieved the dildo from the guest room. After buying his own house, he hadn't gotten around to picking up all of his things from Jack, and there was no point anymore on normal days in using the dildo when he could have the real Jack. 

Also, moving boxes around (or pretending to do so) made additional excuses to be together. 

„Hey, what took you so long?" Jack looked up from his magazine, then shoved it under the bed.

„A bit of preparation. Patience, Jack, I'll get to the point now.“

The lube was already on the nightstand. Daniel put it in Jacks hand.

„Do you want to prepare me?" 

He didn’t really need preparation now. But he was looking forward to Jack's fingers inside of him. Without a word, the Colonel squeezed some out of the tube and spread it gently between Daniel's legs, who was lying on his back with his head at the foot of the bed. He knew Daniel wanted it rough, but he needed physical contact to connect with him. "

„Jaaaa-ack." Daniel was impatient. Jack got an idea. He took a moment to massage Daniel's entire genital area with the gel. 

„Jack, I'm about to burst."

"Patience, Danny." Jack put his index fingers next to each other, ran a few times through Daniel's crack, accompanied by encouraging groans. And then he broke Daniel's tight muscle ring with both fingers as quickly as he dared. He withdrew one finger while keeping the other as deeply sunk as possible, taking turns. Daniel's

breathing became uncontrolled, his eyes were closed, he was loosely holding the dildo in one hand. 

If Daniel wanted it rough, a little bit of extra stretch couldn't hurt. He hooked his fingers in and pulled them outwards in opposite directions, up and down, left and right, over and over again. Jack leaned forward for a moment to lick the dripping semen off Daniel's erection. Daniel whimpered. The hand with the dildo went to his lap, but Jack noticed that there was no lube. He had enough on his hands to make the dildo nice and slippery. The dildo disappeared with a hard push. Daniel grimaced and pushed the object back into himself anyway. 

He had to feel himself at all costs and reestablish the control he had over himself. It felt strange for Jack to watch Daniel recklessly work himself. His legs were wide open, the dildo sliding in and out with force. Daniel began to babble to himself.

„Jack, yes ... harder Jack. Oh, yeah, fuck me harder ... “

A lot of it was incomprehensible. But Jack came up with a way to make Daniel's fantasy more real, more... personal. He massaged the insides of his thighs with his whole hand and Daniel's pubic area with a firm grip. He only ignored Daniel's dripping penis, like Daniel himself.

Jack was amazed that he was hard again now - at his age it shouldn't be so easy. On the other hand, Daniel offered a show that was second to none. Jack believed he was the happiest man in the universe with his handsome, loving, sexy archaeologist who trusted him so much that he shared this with him. This private intimate hardcore porn. Then Daniel changed the angle of his thrusts and howled. His other hand closed on his erection while Jack rubbed his thumbs under his testicles. It only took him a few more strokes to come explosively.

He drove the dildo deep into his body until the contractions subsided. Then the hand went slack between his legs, as did his whole body. 

It took Jack more than a minute to realize that Daniels heavy breathing was in fact crying.

„Jack, I love you," he sobbed helplessly. „I love you so much."

Tears flowed unrestrained down his face. He wasn’t quite all here, trapped in a memory and fantasy of the past. Jack crawled across the bed next to him and pulled his head into his lap to wipe away the tears.

„I love you too, Danny. I’m here. I’m with you.“ He stroked his face, and Daniels unfocused eyes tore deep in his heart.

„But I don't think I could do what you just did to yourself. " 

Daniel suddenly opened his eyes, shaking off his memory and trying to find Jacks gaze.

„You don't have to, Jack. The massage was wonderful. Thanks for that. I've never come so hard, I think.“

He turned his head in Jack's lap and nosed his hard, arousing, scented erection. “Time for a tool change, I think.“ He smirked. „Want to use your own equipment? You know now that I'm not made of sugar... Dildojack out, real Jack in? ” Daniel raised his eyebrows invitingly. 

„Oh, yeahsureyoubetcha.“ Jack grabbed a pillow and pushed it under Daniel's bum before slowly pulling the sex toy out and placing it on a cloth.

„But first ..." he pointed to Daniel's tired erection.

„May I?"

„Do what you want, but don't expect anything to stir. At this point I usually rest for a moment, ”Daniel said.

„Take your time, but don't mind me. Fuck me as slowly or as fast as you want.“

Jack leaned over his lap and licked Daniel's flaccid penis, drinking his semen. He had found out weeks ago that he loved the smell. There was something particularly intimate and vulnerable about feeling the soft member on the sensible skin of his lips. Daniel stroked the side of his face. When Jack looked up for a moment, he smiled lovingly at him. 

And then he did something that half a year ago he would never have thought he could ever want, he didn’t even know it existed - Jack licked a path around Daniel's testicles, down over his perineum, and lingered on his anus. At the first touch, Daniel groaned deeply as Jack's tongue penetrated his reddened, swollen entrance.

„Oh, God, Jack ... ahhhh!" 

It tasted surprisingly neutral, probably because they were freshly bathed. What he would never dare to do with a dildo, maybe not even with his own "equipment" - with his tongue Jack fucked Daniel as hard as Daniel had fucked himself with the dildo. In order to penetrate deeper, he pulled Daniel's buttocks wide apart. Daniel was so relaxed that he could circle the inside of his muscle ring with his tongue. He writhed on the bed, whimpering, even though his penis lay motionless on his stomach. Jack poked his tongue into Daniel's soft insides as he found the tube of lube with one hand. With two fingers he put as much gel into his opening as he could. Then he pulled himself up and positioned his painfully hard erection. He met Daniel's eyes as he sank into him with a forceful but very restrained thrust. Daniel's eyes blurred again when he saw Jack's attention fixed on himself. Jack leaned forward, kissed the tears away and vowed that he would take Daniel today to heights of ecstasy he had never experienced before. After coming earlier, his stamina should allow that, he hoped. 

A reliable way to drive Daniel insane was to push hard in and to pull slooooowly out. And that's exactly what Jack did for a long time while looking at Daniel, who lay completely relaxed under him. At some point Daniel raised his arm and felt for Jack's hand with his eyes closed. With a slight shift in weight, Jack released his own arm and they clasped their hands. A couple of times Jack was just barely able to prevent himself from coming. He did not want to come. Daniel groaned softly, his penis, only lightly filled with blood, rolling back and forth in Jack's rhythm.

This sight, his absolute, unlimited trust touched Jack deeply. But slowly Daniel was ready for more. His free hand went to his half-hard member and he began to caress himself. At first sporadically, as if he wanted to test what's there, then more firmly. Once it was completely hard, he demanded „Harder, Jack - faster ...", gasping.

Jack complied with his request, this time without worrying about hurting Daniel. He pumped into him uninhibited, Daniel pumped his erection, and they came at the same time. Both saw white stars, so violent were their contractions. Jack was barely able to prevent collapsing on Daniel's ribs. He wanted to withdraw, but Daniel asked him to stay in his body. Daniel swung his leg on his side so that Jack could lie behind him, snuggled against his back. After less than a minute of feeling the other's heartbeat, they were asleep wrapped around each other. 

.oOo.

It was early morning, way too early to get up on a day off. Nevertheless, according to military habit, Jack woke up early and accidentally woke Daniel, who mumbled something about „Be quiet and lie down again ...". 

But Jack couldn't sleep, so he wrapped himself around Daniel and mumbled against the skin of his back. 

„Daniel?"

"Hmmmm... hmm... - ?"

„I need a vacation. As soon as the Goua'uld and Hammond and who knows what else give us a break, I want to leave.“

Daniel was suddenly very awake. A suspicious crease appeared between his brows. "Leave, Jack? Um, where do you want to go?“

Jack with a fishing rod and a book and he himself with a book and a huge canister of mosquito spray, this picture appeared in his mind’s eye in a cartoonish style. Vacation in the cabin, for a long weekend - no problem. But not for a whole holiday trip, never ever!

"Far away. When I was stationed in Germany with Sara, we were once somewhere in the Mediterranean. Was cool (Daniel threw him a wary glance), ah, warm, and nice... really, it was warm! The water was clear and deep and great for diving.“

Convinced. 

„It’s okay, we will go.“

O o * o * o * o * o * o * o O 

Jack was pretty sure by now that Hammond knew about him and Daniel. The general had informed him of Daniel's abduction as if a close family member had disappeared and not a member of his team. It was a strange feeling, but somehow relieving. If Jack's observation was correct, Hammond didn’t have a problem with him being with Daniel. On the contrary, he evidently had understanding and compassion. In any case, he left them alone. And that was more than he would have expected from a superior.

O o * o * o * o * o * o * o O 

They were finally alone. 

Daniel's wound was taken care of, and he was in a separate area of the military transport flight. Jack had stayed with him on the pretext of a debriefing. He held Daniel's hand between his, hidden under the blanket. They had just done the talk. It had been very exhausting for both of them. When they got down to the torture thing, Jack offered to forget the details for now. They would talk about it when Daniel felt ready.

He knew from his own experience that bad experiences were more likely to become traumatic the more directly you talked about them. That's why he hated shrinks so much - those clueless stupid desk criminals wanted to talk about it right away. Then it burned itself in the windings of your brain, like learning vocabulary. Everything had to filter, shake and settle first on its own, so much Jack knew for sure.

Daniel had just lain there with his eyes closed for a while. Jack was almost startled, when he suddenly spoke.

„We have to be more careful, Jack."

"Why?" Daniel opened his eyes and looked directly at Jack.

"You petted me in public!"

„What?!" 

„When you talked to Burke, next to that tree, you supported me when I was shot. Your arm around my waist, is that ringing a bell? Every now and then you stroked me with your thumb. Burke is special ops, isn't she? He must have seen that.“

„Maybe. No idea. He won't care, I guess. He knows that I was married. He won’t figure it out. And we had other things on our minds then."

„If you think so. Nevertheless. I appreciate your attentions, Jack. But I also know that your career is very important to you. I couldn't live with destroying it, okay?“

„I know." Jack tightened his hands around Daniels for a moment.

„Hey, how about we go on our Mediterranean vacation as soon as your leg is healed?"

As always, Jack didn't intend to dwell on a depressing topic any longer. He also saw no point in telling Daniel about his suspicions about Hammond - there was no evidence that he was right. His attempt to cheer up immediately had the desired effect, Daniel found his sarcasm again.

„Oh, and I know who gets the short straw. I'll take care of the planning lying on the sofa in front of the fireplace with cocktails in hand, putting my shot leg up ... you have to go to work ... and convince Hammond that we want to go on a vacation. Together.“

„Sadist."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The stroking of Jack’s thumb und the scented bath oil is no invention of mine, both things we saw on screen (I don’t remember the exact episode with the oil, we saw it behind Jack in the mirror while he shaved solving a crossword and talking to Carter on the phone). Once, Daniel knocking on Jack’s door (was it before Jack went Ancient the second time?) sounded very much like a code to me. Hammond informing Jack about Daniels abduction privately in his office happened too, I always felt it was absolutely unusual for the series to do it that way (sure, I know there were reasons for it on different levels like production necessities, but still).  
> I like those moments you can interpret from different angles...

**Author's Note:**

> I translated this on my own, but I am not a native speaker, so I have to apologize for mistakes. The translation is slightly edited compared to the original german version (“Das Erbe der Antiker”).  
> Here are only the first two chapters in english for now, the story is much longer, and I am still working on the last chapter of the original version and (inbetween real life) on the translation of the third chapter. At first I forgot to mark it as a series, that’s corrected.


End file.
